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Why Self-Awareness is the First Step to Change

Updated: Sep 9

Let’s be real. You’ve tried to think your way out of this.


You’ve made the lists. Talked it through with friends. Promised yourself that “next week” you’ll figure it out.


But here you are—still circling the same questions:

  • Do I stay in this relationship or finally walk away?

  • Should I push for the promotion, pivot, or start over?

  • Why do I say yes when every cell in my body wants to say no?

  • Why am I awake at 2 a.m., replaying everything I can’t control?


It’s not because you’re broken. It’s because you’re skipping the first step: self-awareness.


What Self-Awareness Actually Looks Like

Self-awareness is not just “knowing yourself.” It’s paying attention to the small, powerful signals you usually override:

  • The tightness in your chest when your partner dismisses your feelings.

  • The rush of dread before another “harmless” work meeting.

  • The wave of resentment after saying yes (again) when you wanted to say no.

Those aren’t inconveniences. They’re instructions.

And when you ignore them, you stay stuck in limbo.


Why Awareness Comes Before Action

Here’s a coaching truth: change without awareness doesn’t last.

  • You can leave your partner, but without awareness, you’ll repeat the same dynamic with someone new.

  • You can switch jobs, but without awareness, the burnout follows you.

  • You can set boundaries, but without awareness, guilt will pull you back into over-giving.

Self-awareness clears the fog. It shows you what’s really happening beneath the noise—so your choices stop being reactive and start being intentional.


A Coaching Exercise for You

Take a breath and ask yourself right now:

  1. Where in my life am I overriding my own signals just to keep the peace?

  2. What am I pretending not to know—about my relationship, my work, or my health?

  3. If nothing changes, what will this cost me five years from now?

Pause with those questions. Write them down. Notice what rises up in your body as you answer.

That’s awareness knocking.


Here’s the Hard Part

Self-awareness is uncomfortable. It asks you to see the truth before you’re ready to act on it. That’s why so many people skip it, and that’s why they stay stuck.

But you don’t have to do this alone. In coaching, we slow down the noise long enough for you to hear yourself clearly—and then we build the tools to act on what you discover.


If This Resonates…

If you’re tired of circling the same decisions… if you’re ready to move from “I don’t know” to “I’m clear, and I’m choosing with confidence”… then let’s talk.

This is the work I do with clients every day:

  • Untangling relationship limbo.

  • Building boundaries without guilt.

  • Rediscovering energy and purpose after burnout, loss, or transition.

The first step is a simple one: schedule a call. Let’s explore what self-awareness is already trying to show you—and what becomes possible when you act on it.



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